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Greetings to All!

A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.


A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman who is shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days."

She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."


On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."



A chef? (You get buttered up.)

A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.)

A gambler? (He cheats on you.)

A telephone operator? (He gives you a phone-y line.)

A trashman? (He dumps you.)

A clockmaker? (He two-times you.)

A pastry cook? (He desserts you.)


A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asked her mother, "Mummy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"

To which the mother replied, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work."

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turned to the mother and said, "Aw, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth, for crying out loud! They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence followed, and the daughter then asked, "Mummy, do the ladies have any children?"

The mother replied, "Of course, dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"


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